half alive.

•June 1, 2011 • 1 Comment

Everything is just coming at me together.

Life is tough enough for a seventeen year old girl, when you have to study and work at the same time. What is worse, is when I’m studying a course not exactly of my interest. Then people would wonder, why did I choose this course anyway? That’s not the point anymore since I’ve already chosen it. I promised myself I would work hard on it though. But things just doesn’t seem to go the way I want it to.

I’ve been slotting work in all my free time. In other words, I don’t have much time for assignments. Not because I want to, but because I have to. Every single cent that I spent, comes from myself. I earn about 400 bucks a month? And all of it goes to transport and food. But with routines like that everyday, I get really tired. Really, really tired. And that’s why I missed school today.

HAHAHA. I just heard something so funny coming out of my father’s mouth. He wants me to report every single one of my movements(wherever I go, whatever I do) to him, and he say that if I don’t, he would ‘ground me down’. Example, not letting me for volleyball and other activities. What other activities do I even have? All I ever do is school and work.

And he told me just now, everything else is secondary. School is most important. Yeah right. Isn’t money more important? In this world we’re living in, what can you do without money? If I don’t work, I will not even be able to travel to school. And he’s not even helping at all. Lazing at home all day, watching television. What right does he even have to control me? He talks about how difficult it is for my sister, as she is paying all the house bills. The way he said it, it was like my fault? He says I spent too much, but that was from what he knew. He doesn’t even know what’s happening now, so what crap is he talking about? I just told him that my transportation fees are 10 bucks every two days. He said I should consider taking a job that does not need travelling. All I could say was, no way. He’s not going to take the only thing that keeps me alive away from me.

Then he complains that my phone bills are high and my sister is paying for them. Fine. I’ll pay for it myself. I seriously don’t get it. Why doesn’t he get a job himself? He keeps saying he’s not feeling well… He looks totally fine to me! But whatever. I’m not going talk about this anymore. My eyes feels swollen and my nose is totally blocked from all those useless tears.


•May 26, 2011 • 2 Comments

I had some free time yesterday, and went over to the newly opened McDonald’s @ Jurong Central Park(JCP). It is such a beautiful place, and totally gives me the feeling of Alocassia(the McDonald’s where I am working at) The design is very much alike, just that maybe JCP is better? Probably because it’s newer and they improved on things.. Their headset used for Drive-Thru is more high-tech! But seems heavy for the head, LOL. One thing I realised was that their cafe doesn’t sell sandwiches. I mean, HOW COULD THEY NOT? It’s like the best. But their service was kinda horrible. I stood at the counter for quite awhile yet, three of them in the cafe, I really meant THREE, didn’t see me at all. They may be new, but THAT IS NOT AN EXCUSE.

Oh yeah, did I mention? I was ‘Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer’ yesterday. Sitting at a corner seat in front of McCafe, all teary eyed(for almost two hours). I was just messaging this guy(the ‘guy’ mentioned at the end of my Letter to the Past). And oh well, he said something that made me cry. But it’s okay. Because he made me smile again after that. He’s just so… sweet. Haha.

time runs fast. and i can’t catch up.

•May 21, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I’ve really been lack of time these few days. Maybe because I don’t manage my own time well? Or maybe just over-commitments. I guess it’s a bit of each. For me, everyday is school, work (McCafe’s getting quite busy nowadays – tires me out more than usual) or school, volleyball.  I don’t even have time for my assignments (don’t even talk about the hours I have to sleep) . That’s a real bad thing… Plus, I’ve been sick the past few days(cough and flu) and even missed lessons. I’m really worn out, but what can I do? I still haven’t exactly found a solution yet, but I guess I gotta work on it. Fast. Or I might just be wasting my time all along. Gotta catch up on some sleep now, and finish up all my assignments by 1pm tomorrow (‘cos i’m working again after that, :/) Hope things goes well. Nights all.


•May 13, 2011 • 1 Comment

It has been so long since I really played volleyball. I missed that feeling of jumping into the air and spiking the ball down.

I was still thinking on Wednesday, deciding whether I should go to training the next day or not. And I’m glad that I went. The beginning was just some warm-ups, stretching, and running. And after that was ball drills… Then my favourite part came! Service! 😀 For the past trainings, I couldn’t serve over the net, and that upset me. ALOT. But I got the feel back today! AND I’M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT, 😀 And for the rest of the time, we played matches. I was put in a team with 5 other guys. LIKE OMG? They’re so pro! Felt inferior, man, :/ But we won both matches that we played. Hmm, I played subset today, and front open yesterday during the team selection. (I didn’t get in though. Sad, right?) Wonder if I can ever get to play setter, 😛 but I don’t think I can do it… or maybe I should just play libero? Ah, I don’t know. All my muscles are aching now, and that’s telling me I need to rest. So goodnight and I’ll blog again…soon. I hope. :X


•May 1, 2011 • Leave a Comment

It’s hard to start on something.

After almost 5 months of slacking and lazing around, I just don’t feel like doing anything now. I mean, for the past few months, I could just do whatever I wanted. Tucking myself into bed at 2-3am and getting up only twelve hours later; shopping and eating with my friends almost everyday. I have no datelines to meet, no assignments to hand up. It was just so carefree. Until now. Even though I don’t have a mountain pile of work to submit, but I do have this blogpost I need to complete. And I debated with myself a long time before I was willing to start on it. I really need to discipline myself a little, :/

I’ve got lots of things to cope with now. School, part-time work, assignments, volleyball. I hardly even have time to sleep anymore. I guess time-management is extremely important for me. Okay, I’m kinda stuck, so I’ll stop here for now. Might add on, if something comes to my mind.